Insanity Trilogy, Book One: No Hope
by Symbol of Life
Summary: Ryou is going a bit loony. So, he ends up at the Mental Hospital, Pine Rest. A very religious environment, he is rather more or less shocked when he hears the outburst of 'Ra Damn It, You B! from one of the rooms during journaling.
1. Chapter 1

**No Hope**

**Chapter One**

Summary:_ Ryou is going a bit loony. So, he ends up the Mental Hospital, Pine Rest. A very religious environment, he is rather more or less shocked when he hears the outburst of "Ra Damn It, You Bitch!" from one of the rooms during journaling._

Notes: This is NOT AU, alternate universe. Names have been altered to Ryou Takeya and Bakura Yono. Please don't steal their last names, they're borrowed from OCs of mine in my original novel, Pictures of You. Based on real life experience, though I've never been inpatient and never experienced "Code Red" or whatever you want to call it. Rated Teen for sexual implications, slight light yaoi-ness and of course, swearing. Part One of the Insanity Trilogy. The Poem is mine, you take without permission, you DIE. Thank you, and have a nice day.

**x-Begin-x**

Ryou Takeya stared at his arms. He had had this growing feeling, in the back of his mind, that won't stop, that they are too perfect. Everything about him was too perfect. It was nauseating.

He had tried the whole college thing with Yugi, but it hadn't worked. Every time he got up in the morning for school, there was this feeling of dread in him so severe, it caused him to throw up, get dizzy, and pass out.

Yugi was very concerned, and Ryou hated that. Why should Yugi concern himself with that. Ryou couldn't even attend school.

Ryou wanted to major in Creative Writing. He loved to write. That was the only time when he felt free, at ease. But he couldn't anymore, from all his shaking. And with his laptop broken, there was no hope...

_"No hope..."_

The words echoed through Ryou's mind as he stared at his too perfect, pasty white arms.

_"Too Perfect..."_

All right, that was the last straw, he had to add some color to his life. Like Red. Red was a happy color, an energetic color, the color of blood...

_"The Color of Blood..."_

He stood from the living room couch, and crossed, with quick strides, into the kitchen, still staring at his arms. Harshly, Ryou picked up a knife and-

**-------------------------------------------- **

Yugi opened the door, and immediately the metallic smell assaulted him. "Oh, Kami," he gasped, covering his mouth with his sleeve. Blood was smeared all over the usually clean and white apartment, spread out everywhere because the boy only had so much. Yugi walked into the apartment slowly, thanking Kami and all his ancestors that Ryou had given him a key.

He eventually found Ryou in his room.

A sight to be seen, Ryou was covered in gashes, along his arms and legs, wearing only a white tank top and blue shorts. His breathing was ragged and heavy, as though each breath was a painful struggle. He even had cuts across his face. Yugi gagged.

"R-ryou!" he gasped, but the boy made no move to respond. Yugi ran from the room, scavenged up the phone, and dialed 911.

**-------------------------------------------- **

It was an odd sensation. Sort of like... déja vu, as Ryou walked into the hospital. But it wasn't a real hospital, it was a mental hospital. '_I don't belong here..._'

He looked around, eyes wide from fear, head still light from blood loss. Patients watched him with hunger in their eyes, and the other staff members with a wary, weary expression.

He wore a short sleeved light blue t-shirt and white slacks. So, much to his discomfort, the numerous stitches on his arms were visible. And of course there was his face...

"Now, you will be staying in suite four," the nurse said kindly. She was the only truly nice person Ryou had seen since he'd woken up, about two days ago. He hadn't even seen Yugi yet.

"T-thank you," Ryou whispered politely, looking up at her. She was quite tall, with short dark hair and dark eyes, but her eyes contained light.

"May God heal you," she whispered, and let him into the room.

"Y-yes," Ryou said, rather uncomfortable. He'd never been very good with religion. Sighing, he stepped inside to take a look around. It was rather plain. with white walls and a light blue carpet. The bed was well kept, white sheets and a white comforter and a white pillow. The white-haired teen literally twitched, and turned around.

"Miss?" he asked softly, and the Nurse stopped right before leaving and walked over.

"Yes, Takeya?" she said softly. Ryou smiled as best he could.

"Could I get some color in this room, please? It's... a tad too white, for my tastes...," he said softly. The nurse looked at him for a moment, from his white skin to his white hair. Everything about this boy was so faintly colored, it may as well have BEEN white. Even his clothes. She sighed.

"I'll get some paper and crayons, and you can decorate the walls with pictures." Ryou nodded. He would probably write on the paper instead, if he could manage to stop shaking. "You stay here," and she hurried off.

**-------------------------------------------- **

_I wake up to find myself_

_In a place that is not home_

_Oh how I miss myself_

_God, someone take me home._

_---_

_Everything is white_

_too bright_

_too right_

_everything is light_

_---_

_And it's driving me insane_

_Driving me to pain_

_It's driving me insane_

_Driving me to maim_

_---_

_Everything I know_

_Has been here all along_

_Oh how I wish_

_things could change_

_---_

_Everything is white_

_too bright_

_too right_

_everything is light_

**-------------------------------------------- **

Ryou smiled at his poem. It exactly described the situation. He loved it when he could do that. And sure, the letters were squiggly, but they were his, and more importantly, they were legible.

"Ra Damn It, You Bitch!" broke the calm. Ryou jumped, and started coughing up blood. He stood shakily, still coughing, and walked toward the door and peered out.

"LEGGO! I'LL FUCKING MURDER YOU!" The screams were louder now, and more anger was in them. A man, with spiky silver hair, and glaring, sharp red eyes, was struggling against an army of attendants, one of whom was holding a syringe. He had pulled himself free and they were deadlocked

"Please, Yono, please just calm down-"

"I am NOT fucking 'Journaling' and I am DEFINITELY NOT Yono. My name is-"

They tackled him, and the man with the syringe jabbed it into the boy's arm.

"FUCK!" the boy screamed.

They clambered off him, and he sat up and coughed up a small amount of blood. Ryou watched this, then stared at his own bloodied hand. Then he looked back out the window.

"I hate you all," he heard Yono huff. But hadn't the boy said his name _wasn't_ Yono? Why would they call him that?

"Yes, well, now you can go to your room," the nice Nurse from before informed Yono. He glared at her.

"No, i can't, because now I'm dizzy," Yono stated matter-of-factly. The nurse sighed.

"Bakura-"

"-Thank Ra SOMEONE knows-"

"- if you won't move, I'll carry you."

This so called Bakura looked at her, and watched for a long moment. Then sighed. "Do what you must, Nancy."

So Nancy scooped him up and carried him to his room. He didn't even squirm, merely sat there, arms and legs crossed, like a limp, very upset doll.

Ryou came out, watching as one of the other employees opened the door for Nancy to suite six, two doors down.

One of the nurses glanced at Ryou, and sputtered. "C-code Red!" Ryou blinked. Code what?

There was chaos after that. Everyone went berserk. Ryou merely stood there, dumbfounded, until finally, a Nurse wearing a surgical mask and latex gloves that went up to his elbows, took Ryou's arm, and led him into the examination room.

"Excuse me, what is Code Red? What's going on?" Ryou asked as the male Nurse sat him down and went to the sink.

"Kid, you've got blood on your hand."

"Oh! I-I'm sorry. But, what's the, Code Red?" Ryou insisted.

"That _is_ Code Red. Blood. Red is the Color of Blood," the employee explained, coming over with a wash cloth and a bucket of sanitizing liquid.

"Oh..." Ryou breathed. "So, why such a fuss?"

"HIV, for one thing," the nurse said, cautiously cleaning off Ryou's hand. Ryou blinked.

"But I don't have-"

"-Never know here," the nurse stated. Ryou frowned.

"What's the other thing? Or things?" Ryou asked softly.

"Danger. Blood means someone's hurt-"

"I was just coughing."

The nurse looked up at him, then dabbed off the rest of the blood and set the bucket aside. "So you have internal bleeding."

"Well I- I have never coughed up blood before, and really, I don't think I got hurt-"

"Kid, you're covered in stitches. Self-mutilation stitches."

"Well, besides that!" Ryou snapped. The nurse blinked, then shook his head.

"Never mind, we'll have one of our doctors check you out a-sap. Yono too.."

**-------------------------------------------- **

"Idiots... I ought to..." Bakura stopped. Then swore in his own language, ancient Egyptian. "There I go, speaking japanese _again_! Course, it's the only thing these morons actually understand, but still. When I talk to my self I ought to-" he stopped, and gripped his head. "I _ought_ to calm down. I'm going to pass out at this rate."

Slowly, carefully, he got up and walked to the door. His room was barren- free of sheets, crayons, writing utensils, pillowcases, anything. Bakura peered out the window.

That's when he saw him.

**-------------------------------------------- **

_"I don't care," Bakura snapped at the figure he could barely make out. They looked like him, but different, and had unfurled a pair of enormous angelic wings, a light gray. The figure flexed it's wings._

_"Please, just, just come back."_

_"No!"_

**-------------------------------------------- **

What he wasn't coming back to, Bakura was unsure. But if this truly was the one from his dreams, he'd find out.

That's when he and Ryou locked eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

**No Hope**

**Chapter Two**

Summary:_ Ryou is going a bit loony. So, he ends up the Mental Hospital, Pine Rest. A very Christian orientated environment, he is rather more or less shocked when he hears the outburst of "Ra Damn It, You Bitch!" from one of the rooms during journaling._

Notes: This is NOT AU, alternate universe. Names have been altered to Ryou Takeya and Bakura Yono. Please don't steal their last names, they're borrowed from OCs of mine in my original novel, Pictures of You. Based on real life experience, though I've never been inpatient and never experienced "Code Red" or whatever you want to call it. Rated Teen for sexual implications, slight light yaoi-ness and of course, swearing. Part One of the Insanity Trilogy. The Poem was mine, you take without permission, you DIE. Thank you, and have a nice day.

Chapter Only Notes: Take the Entwined comment as you will. (Yaoi-loving grin)

**x-Begin-x**

His eyes...

Ryou glanced at where there _should_ be a window, and imagined he could see the sunrise.

They had yelled at him seven times to go to sleep. He had tried until well past midnight. Then he'd given up, and decided to stare out the window. The one that wasn't there, that is.

But his eyes...

Yes, Ryou had seen these eyes before. Sharp, penetrating, crimson eyes burning with rage and hatred. But the eyes he saw were different.

They were confused.

They were cold.

They were distant.

They were planning something.

They were lost.

And worst of all, they were watching him.

Yes, Ryou had seen these eyes before, but he had seen them as an outsider. This time, he had, dare he say it; Interacted. Not the way most people considered it, but he had. These eyes he saw were different.

"_Lost..._"

How could he look so soft? So innocent? So kind? Hadn't he just heard Bakura cursing the staff to hell and back?

No, this man would do worse than curse the staff.

Ryou shuddered, and pulled the blankets around himself. The piercing silence was starting to scare him.

A stirring in the back of his mind. Ryou looked away from his imaginary window.

Slowly, he stood, and walked to his door, and peered out.

There, just like before, was the boy, Bakura, staring out at him. They had moved him to the room across the hall after he had destroyed his room last evening.

His eyes no longer looked lost. They were the same; Sharp, penetrating, crimson eyes burning with rage and hatred.

And yet...

He could still picture the other eyes.

Ryou opened his door carefully.

**xXx**

Still wrapped in his sheet, Ryou stood before Bakura's door and watched him. Bakura's face held a very neutral expression, but there was indeed great hatred in his eyes.

Ryou reached one hand out from under the sheet, and Bakura watched as he tried the handle.

Operative word? Tried.

It was locked. Ryou frowned- why would they lock Bakura in and not him? The man through the window, was shaking. Ryou frowned deeper. Where was Bakura's blanket?

"I tried to strangle myself," came the muffled voice. Ryou jumped, and the boy smirked. "Well, the doors aren't soundproof, duh."

"B-but... I..." Ryou gasped, as Bakura licked a dangerously sharp canine.

"But you what?" Bakura said smugly. Ryou was terrified, whether this man was behind a locked door or not. Yet also, he was fascinated.

"Nothing," Ryou said hurriedly, and scuttled back to his room. The last thing he saw before he climbed into bed was Bakura, frowning after him.

**xXx**

_'That certainly was strange,'_ Bakura thought, walking back to his bare bed. _'I was so... afraid of him. And yet he was so meek...'_

**xXx**

It was morning, and time for more journaling. Ryou was sitting at one of the tables, writing whatever random words came to his mind. It made him feel better.

The nice Nurse, Nancy, opened the door to suite twelve, where Bakura was now staying, down the hall a bit from Ryou. Ryou stopped to watch.

"Okay, Bakura, are you ready to do morning journaling or are you going to skip breakfast again today?" she asked in a bored voice.

'How out of character,' Ryou thought dully.

"FOR THE LAST BLOODY TIME, I CAN'T WRITE!" Bakura screamed, and in seconds Nancy had the door shut and Bakura was glaring out at her through the window.

"Then let one of us help you," she said calmly. Bakura growled.

"I just want to go-" he stopped, and spotted Ryou watching him. Instantly he relaxed. He was still watching Ryou when he spoke up next. "I want one of the other patients to help me."

"Please, you'll kill them," Nancy said, unimpressed. He scowled, tearing his eyes from the deer-in-headlights stare of Ryou.

"I promise by my Gods, that I shall not harm him," Bakura said. 'I'm not particularly religious, so this wasn't exactly binding, but these lunatics that have captured me seem quite obedient to _their_ gods,' Bakura added mentally.

"Really?" Nancy said, unconvinced. "Him? Do you have someone in mind?"

"Yes. He's a self-proclaimed writer," Bakura added, wondering _'How do I know this?'_

"Well, in that case," Nancy looked thoughtful. "No."

Before Bakura had a chance to lunge at her and strangle her, Ryou stood, and caught Bakura's eye.

Slowly, the pale teen walked over. Nancy was too puzzled by the fact that Bakura hadn't hit the door trying to attack her yet to notice Ryou.

_'He looks like a Broken Angel...'_ Bakura thought.

Ryou came close and gently spoke up. "Um, Miss, Nancy?" he breathed. She jumped and turned to him.

"Yes?" she sighed, breathing heavy, holding her heart. For a second she thought Bakura had escaped again.

"I would like to help him, Miss," Ryou said softly, looking straight through her brown eyes. She ran a hand through that dark hair of hers.

"Now, please, Takeya, he is very dangerous. I mean, he'd be in the criminally insane ward if he wasn't only seventeen. He's a maniac, Takeya, and-"

She broke off, sensing the intense gaze of Bakura.

_'Only seventeen? I'm nineteen...'_ Ryou thought. "Well, I don't mind, because he just promised to not hurt me-"

"-He's broken promises before-"

"-Not this one," Ryou and Bakura said in unison. It created the strangest effect, as their voices merged into one, and Ryou gasped and covered his mouth.

**xXx**

_"Please, don't-" Ryou gasped. The man leered at him, smirk evident even in his tone. Ryou could not make out his face, yet it seemed so familiar._

_The figure slammed him against the wall, and Ryou gasped. "And it's 'Please', Light says, 'don't', Light says. What is he going to do?"_

**xXx**

Nancy looked at him for a moment, and Ryou relaxed. Gently, he took her hand in his scarred one. She seemed uncomfortable.

"Please, don't- don't take this away from me. A chance to help, to get better..." Ryou used his pleading eyes, though subconsciously.

Nancy sighed, and pulled away, and opened Bakura's door. Bakura, glaring at Ryou, stepped out, and crossed his arms. He rubbed his skin with his fingers, hoping to feel the stitches that weren't there.

"Now, you two," she began, walking towards the supply closet. "Will work at one of the tables, and you will be very quiet so as to not disturb the others. You will help _each other_ and you will, ah, I guess, behave." She glanced at them, still standing by Bakura's door, and her breath caught.

White hair, spiking, pale skin, smooth as silk, deeply outlined eyes, brown and red, they were mirror images of each other. The only difference, was that Bakura was wilder- his hair was silver and unkempt, his eyes sharp, and crimson. Ryou, on the other hand, looked soft and gentle.

The unbidden image of them entwined appeared in the forefront of Nancy's mind.

Nancy ignored it, pointing to a nearby table, where she set down the paper and pencils. Ryou glanced nervously at Bakura. _'He's so strange, so foreign..._' and walked to the table. Bakura huffed, and followed.

The pair sat down. Bakura stared at the table, arms still crossed. Ryou arranged the paper in a scattered mess, then picked up one of the pencils and pulled a sheet toward him.

"Okay," Ryou whispered softly, "would you like to tell me why you can't write?"

"Forgot," Bakura said dully, still fingering his arm. He wanted to feel those stitches.

Ryou blinked and looked at him. This was a mistake- he got so wrapped up in this boy's eyes, he couldn't move.

They looked the same.

They were confused.

They were cold.

They were distant.

They were planning something.

They were lost.

And worst of all, they were watching him.

**xXx**

This boy, this creature, whatever he is. He has been haunting my sleep. I cannot let this continue...

and yet...

He has the most beautiful eyes...

**xXx**

Ryou tore away and stared hard at the paper. "Would you like me to remind you?" Ryou asked.

**xXx**

_'Of what?'_ Bakura thought. _'Of the dreams? Of this past we seem to have? Even I don't remember.'_

**xXx**

Ryou placed a scarred hand on top of Bakura's. Bakura felt the stitches then- this boy had slit his palm open.

"How to write. Would you like to write?"

Bakura pulled away, and huffed. "Only because I have to," he said, his back to Ryou. Ryou looked at him longingly for a moment, then smiled.

"You always have to write- it just can't stay inside of you- it must come out, or you will die."

"Fuck off."

Ryou frowned. _'Something's bothering him...'_ Ryou thought dully. The teen placed his hand on Bakura's shoulder. "Is something wrong?"

There it was again. Those eyes. Sharp, penetrating, crimson eyes burning with rage and hatred. But no, there was something else.

Pain.

**xXx**

"Hello, my name is Ryou Bakura-"

**xXx**

Ryou pulled away at the same time Bakura did. Nether looked at the other for what seemed like forever._ 'I think I'm going more insane...'_

Bakura turned Ryou to look at the paper, but gently because of the stitches. Slowly, softly, he rubbed his hand up and down the boy's arm. Ryou whimpered, and he pulled away.

They had shared that vision, hadn't they?

Bakura placed the pencil in Ryou's hand.

"First line," he said, voice hollow of emotions. "My name is Ryou Bakura."

Hesitantly, Ryou wrote this down.

"Now, Takeya," Bakura said, adopting Nancy's name for Ryou. It didn't seem right. "Next line. 'I am the Thief King', and be sure to skip a line before that one."

Ryou followed his instructions numbly. What he was writing hurt- it really hurt. His head was beginning to pound.

"Last line for today, got it? Then we can write on the journal topic or what-fucking-ever," Bakura paused. "I am the Darkness. The Darkness never Dies."

Ryou wrote it down. Bakura took the paper, folded it up, and held it in his lap. Ryou noticed Bakura had no pockets.

Ryou looked at him. Bakura frowned. Ryou's head still pounded. Bakura's mind was aching.

"What's your REAL name, Takeya?"

"R-ryou."

"Hm... You look more like 'Hikari' to me."

Ryou shuddered. "And yours?" he asked..

"Bakura."

**xXx**

"My name is Ryou Bakura, and I will not be controlled."


End file.
